Disclaimer: The real reason that I am writing this post is for other mamas since it was so hard for me to find friends who weaned around this age. (I did find one and she gave me the confidence to take the leap!) The topics of breastfeeding and weaning are loaded and both require enormous adjustments, mentally and physically, for us moms. And often, especially online, moms can sound defensive about their choices on these topics. So I think that it’s important for more of us to share our stories to help normalize all of the different ways of handling these phases—without judgement. So here’s our weaning story.
Two nights ago, I breastfed Linden for the last time. I told her all about how hard of a time we had in the early weeks when my let down was so fast and it would make her choke on the milk. I told her how she screamed and screamed and it was hard for me to know when she was hungry. I told her that when we got the hang of it, it was pretty seamless (apart from the phase when she bit me often…). And I told her how she was becoming such a big girl and eating food so well that she didn’t need milk from mama anymore.
Last night, I had a late meeting, so Josh put her to bed. She was worn out from skipping her afternoon nap (teething!) and time at the pool, and so she went down without a fuss.
And just like that, we’re onto a new phase.
Deciding how and when to wean has been a difficult process. I found that most of the moms I know either weaned to formula earlier on or plan on doing extended breastfeeding. I support both of those options but I also felt, on a gut level, that I wanted to wean her soon after her first birthday. She eats well during the day and has started drinking milk from her sippy cup throughout the day. Nursing started to have less and less of a role in her diet and by the time we were down to the one feeding before bed, it felt like a habit more than anything else. We have a lot of changes coming our way in August (vacation, part time daycare), so I knew that if I didn’t do it soon, I’d have to wait until the fall.
Plus, Linden never took a bottle and so Every Single Time she needed milk, I gave it to her. I cannot even try to do that math, but I am guessing it would add up to thousands of nursing sessions. That is not to complain, but it is to say that sustaining a child with my body for nearly two straight years is something that has taken a lot of my energy. And on some level (okay, a lot of levels!), and despite the fact that this decision was loaded with emotions, I was ready to have my body back. That might sound selfish, but I’ve already noticed a positive change in my mood with the increased freedom and energy. (I’ve even taken up swimming!)
I am extremely proud of our accomplishment—and I am incredibly grateful that I was able to breastfeed her without any major difficulties (apart from the previously mentioned anti-bottle stance). It’s incredibly bittersweet to reach this milestone and I was a basket of emotions last night, but I am focusing on how proud I am that she’s becoming such a capable and independent little person. Oh goodness, is she independent!
And I know deep down that she still needs me in so many other ways.
Otherwise, here’s what our nearly 14 month old is up to: she babbles, points, insists that we read books over and over (and over) while she sits in our lap, she’s teething (again, gah!), she loves wagon rides, birds, berries, bananas, O cereal, and generally anything that involves being outside. Oh and she adores older children and dogs and reaches for my hand when we’re walking together (which is the Sweetest Thing Ever). She pushes boundaries and does things she knows she’s not supposed to (such as play with trash cans), but is overall a cheerful, curious, and fun little person. Toddlerhood is very enjoyable!