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Little Linden turned 10 months old last week, which has me thinking about first birthday parties (mostly which cake to bake!) and the importance of having a community of other moms with babies of similar ages. I’m not sure that I realized just how important interacting with other people would become once I had a baby, but it’s been pretty key in helping me to remain sane during this first year. Here’s why:
Babies, or at least my baby, likes to be around other babies. Often, it seems like they are speaking to each other through their private language of babbles, which is just the cutest thing. Watching babies play side by side, I know that it’s good for them to have to navigate their little bodies in relation to someone of their own size.
It’s helpful to be able to talk to other moms who are in the same trenches. From issues with identity to advice on find a babysitter, my new mom friends have been one of the best resources during this past year. When I was pregnant, I read lots of books and I felt pretty prepared. But guess what? Parenting is not nearly as simple as all of the books would make it out to be—and other moms are a vastly underused resource! When it doubt, phone a friend.
Similarly aged babies can offer really helpful perspective. Yesterday, at a particularly lovely lunchtime play date with a group of moms from my postpartum group, there was discussion of solids: How you can’t force a baby to eat, how picky they can be, how hard it is to know what to do when your baby isn’t in the “right” percentile for weight that was so helpful to hear. All of the babies at the group were within about two months of each other and it’s so extremely helpful to have that real life perspective. I also love seeing what other babies are doing—because it gives me a better sense of what Linden might be up to soon.
It’s easier to make mom friends because you have the baby in common. I’ve moved a lot since college (after our move in May, it will be 5 times) and each time I dread the prospect of finding new friends. I never want to replace my awesome current friends, but a girl always needs some actual people to spend time with. Since becoming a mom, it’s actually gotten easier—at play groups and story times, the babies are the ice breaker. This makes for a much easier transition into new friendships and it takes the anxiety out of inviting new friends-with-babies over to play.
I’m sure that most of this sounds fairly intuitive, but it took me a while to realize how helpful spending time with other moms would be. Looking back at the early months as a mom, I know that I could have used more support/perspective from women who were going through the same thing as me.
P.S. If you are in Des Moines, you need to check out the Tuesday morning group at Bearth. It’s one of my very favorite parts of the week. Also, if you are a mom in Pella, let me know- I’ll be in need of new friends here shortly as we prepare for our move in May!
